“Sometimes a person has to go back, really back – to have a sense, an understanding of all that’s gone to make them – before they can go forward.” Paule Marshall
If I think back to when I was young, to when I was a teenager who allowed herself time to just be, it is easy to see the common threads between the girl I was then and the woman I am now.
“The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order.” Eudora Welty
Though I have 52 years’ worth of memories, the ones that come to the forefront if I stop to think back are the passions that I had as a teen and still have today. I can still see and feel the thick, light green, spiral bound notebook that I used to do my writing, the poetry and short stories coming to life on those lined pages. I can see its tattered cover and smell the pages of that book that I held so close to my heart, carrying it with me so that it was always available when I was inspired and had the opportunity to write. I regret to say that I no longer have it and have no idea what became of it. But what I do have is its memory, still dear to my heart, a reminder that writing is indeed an integral part of who I am and what I was put on this earth to do.
“What you are searching for is a pattern of personal, authentic pleasures and preferences.” Sarah Ban Breathnach
Close behind the memory of that notebook is a memory of the hours I spent at the piano, so many hours in fact that my poor family would ask me to please stop practicing, as the piano shared the living room with our television. I practiced with joy, never growing weary of it as I worked to perfect the song I was learning. My passion for it has waned somewhat in adulthood though, with the life and responsibilities of a wife and mother getting in the way. After having lost so many years of playing, it is difficult to get the skill level back that once was there. I still enjoy it though, especially since Danny bought me a beautiful baby grand a few years ago.
It’s funny how things start flooding back as you go through this process, memories that you had entirely forgotten. I used to buy graph paper and draw layouts for houses, my passion for architecture starting at a young age as well. I had forgotten about those drawings until just now, and it makes me smile to know that I have come full circle to those things that came naturally to me when I was young. Here I am at 52, working in the real estate business to work with architecture that I have a passion for, and writing more than I have since I was a very young woman.
The transformation has truly begun my friends, and it feels good. I hope that yours has begun as well. I would love to hear about it!
Shalom!
