February 20: “The Authentic Dig”

photo (18)“Sometimes a person has to go back, really back – to have a sense, an understanding of all that’s gone to make them – before they can go forward.”  Paule Marshall

If I think back to when I was young, to when I was a teenager who allowed herself time to just be, it is easy to see the common threads between the girl I was then and the woman I am now.

“The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order.”  Eudora Welty

Though I have 52 years’ worth of memories, the ones that come to the forefront if I stop to think back are the passions that I had as a teen and still have today.  I can still see and feel the thick, light green, spiral bound notebook that I used to do my writing, the poetry and short stories coming to life on those lined pages.  I can see its tattered cover and smell the pages of that book that I held so close to my heart, carrying it with me so that it was always available when I was inspired and had the opportunity to write.  I regret to say that I no longer have it and have no idea what became of it.  But what I do have is its memory, still dear to my heart, a reminder that writing is indeed an integral part of who I am and what I was put on this earth to do.

“What you are searching for is a pattern of personal, authentic pleasures and preferences.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

Close behind the memory of that notebook is a memory of the hours I spent at the piano, so many hours in fact that my poor family would ask me to please stop practicing, as the piano shared the living room with our television.  I practiced with joy, never growing weary of it as I worked to perfect the song I was learning.  My passion for it has waned somewhat in adulthood though, with the life and responsibilities of a wife and mother getting in the way.  After having lost so many years of playing, it is difficult to get the skill level back that once was there.  I still enjoy it though, especially since Danny bought me a beautiful baby grand a few years ago.

It’s funny how things start flooding back as you go through this process, memories that you had entirely forgotten.  I used to buy graph paper and draw layouts for houses, my passion for architecture starting at a young age as well.  I had forgotten about those drawings until just now, and it makes me smile to know that I have come full circle to those things that came naturally to me when I was young.  Here I am at 52, working in the real estate business to work with architecture that I have a passion for, and writing more than I have since I was a very young woman.

The transformation has truly begun my friends, and it feels good.  I hope that yours has begun as well.  I would love to hear about it!

Shalom!

February 19: Rendezvous with the Authentic Archaeologist

mary_leakey3“The reason we want to awaken the authentic archaeologist is to excavate the real you.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

Memories.  There are so many piled on top of one another in a lifetime.  How is it possible to remember it all?  I have never had a good memory, and as I do this work on the path of Simple Abundance, I wonder if part of the reason is because there are so many memories that I am trying hard to forget.  Being teased in school.  Inappropriate behavior by an uncle and the husband of a babysitter.  The loss of a child.  Divorce.  The painful aftermath of divorce with my children.  So much pain.

“Prepare yourself for a gentle but authentic dig that will help you discover the Mystery in which your soul abides.”  SBB

I am beginning to recognize the importance of allowing all memories to coexist, because if you block out some, you block out all.  No wonder I have lived much of my adult life on autopilot, failing to live in the present.  If you are working so hard to forget, you can’t really enjoy and cherish the good times either.  Walls are erected to block it all out, growing stronger over time as the sediment thickens and passage becomes more difficult.  But outside those walls there is so much joy just waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.

To live a life full of abundance and authenticity, the walls must be destructed.  One by one, the bricks must be dismantled so that the light can shine in on your soul once again.  The bricks didn’t harden and thicken overnight, and the walls won’t disappear overnight either, but with time and patience, it can be done.  The painful past can be revisited as the distant memory that it is.  Wrongdoers can be forgiven.  Joy can replace sorrow, and you can live the life that you were created to live, learning to be the very best version of yourself possible.  What better way to make a truly amazing transformation in 2014, don’t you think?

Shalom!

February 17: A Safari of Self and Spirit

ResortpicsOct12th009“Uncovering the source of the Nile or charting the course of the Amazon are outward parallels to the inner journey you are on today – a safari of the self and the spirit.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

This sounds so serious, doesn’t it?  I think that Sarah is right though, and it makes me want to take this journey of self-discovery to yet another level.  I feel as though I haven’t worked quite hard enough, or given myself enough time each day to go deeper.  I realize that I have only scratched the surface.

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover will be yourself.”  Alan Alda

I have accomplished so much already on this spiritual journey, but like a healthy diet that leaves you wanting to be even healthier, I am ready for more.  I am ready to take this thing to the next level.  I am ready to head to the wilderness and slay any dragons that may still be lurking in the dark.

Are you with me?

Shalom!

February 16: At the End of Our Exploring

animals_DragonTamer“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”  J.R.R. Tolkien

Tolkien is telling us that as we take this journey of self-discovery, we cannot ignore our fears.  If you don’t know what you are afraid of, how do you have any chance of conquering it?

I think that, in addition to acknowledging and addressing our fears, we also must look at our belief system.  Specifically, our beliefs about ourselves.  For example, poor self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness are major contributing factors to many of our fears.  If you overcome an improper belief system, you will conquer your fears.

Sarah talks about T.S. Eliot’s belief that there is really nothing to fear from self-awareness because at the end of all our personal exploration, we will arrive back where we started and know in our hearts that we finally belong there.  I personally know this to be true.  Having taken the journey of self-exploration and facing my dragons head-on with the help of prayer and meditation, I am back where I started – finally writing, creating, and developing meaningful relationships through my real estate career – and knowing unequivocally that I am doing what God intended for me to do.

“As in the best old tales, at the end of your exploring, you will live happily ever after.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

How wonderful is that??

Shalom!

February 15: Meeting the Inner Explorer

meditation“There is only one journey.  Going inside yourself.”  Rainer Maria Rilke

I am having trouble reconciling Sarah’s advice to fantasize about creating a travel excursion, complete with picking up travel brochures, with going inside yourself.  I see nothing wrong with fantasizing about your dream destination, I just don’t see how that helps me to find my authentic self.

Since today’s passage doesn’t really resonate with me personally, I will share a quote that does:

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful.  It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”  Jill Bolte Taylor

Being able to remain calm and blissful in spite of everything happening around us is really the key to living a happy life, isn’t it?  I think I do a fairly good job of this, although like everyone, I do have times when I let external circumstances get me down.  I don’t stay in that space for long though.  I am by nature a happy and optimistic person, so for me, living authentically means maintaining a positive attitude even when the car breaks down or something doesn’t go as planned.  Life happens, to every one of us, and if we can learn to maintain our peaceful center in spite of it, what a difference it can make!

“Many marvels await discovery as we continue on the path to authenticity.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

What have you learned about yourself so far?

Shalom!

February 14: “Buried Dreams”

IMG_3049“Where there is great love there are always miracles.”  Willa Cather

I love this quote on this day of love.  It led me to do a little research on Willa Cather.  Willa is a winner of the Pulitzer Prize for a novel that she wrote entitled One of Ours, although it doesn’t appear that she became a published writer until after she was 40 years old.  Born in 1873, I wonder how Willa would feel knowing that she is an inspiration for over-40 women in the year 2014?

“Over the years we’ve buried many a precious dream under layers of soot and rubble.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

I don’t know about you, but my buried dreams are many.  I am grateful that, at 52, I still have the opportunity to make those dreams come true.  One dream that I had for over two decades was becoming a realtor.  That dream came to pass last November, and I can see now that there wouldn’t have been another time in my life that would have been the right time.  It is a tremendous amount of work, starting a real estate career.  I don’t know how I would have done it while raising my children – having evenings and weekends to devote to them was too important to me.  I also needed the firm that I am part of to be created.  Olive Branch Realty stands for everything that I stand for – due to the nature of the real estate business, I think I would have found it very difficult to be part of a firm that is not based on the Christian principles that we are based on.

“…while I have learned that dreams need doing as much as they need being, I have learned that the being always comes first.”  SBB

God’s timing is perfect.  I held onto that dream of being a realtor for a very long time, and when I paid close attention to the message that I was getting from Him that the time was right, and I moved forward on that message, everything fell into place.  I am getting another message now, one that is telling me to write, write, write.  I am listening.  What about you?  What message do you get if you take the time to listen?

“The dream was always running ahead of one.  To catch up, to live for a moment in union with it, that was the miracle.”  AnaÏs Nin

Shalom!

February 13: “You Have a Unique Point of View: Loving Your Authenticity”

Novel“A sobering thought:  what if, right at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?”  Jane Wagner

Yikes.  I don’t like the sound of that!  It is a sobering thought, and one to really put some thought into.  We are still early in the year.  We have a lot of time to make a big difference for our 2014 transformation, yet there is no time to waste.  When I read that quote, a light bulb went off in my head.  An aha moment:  if I am going to live up to my full potential in life, then I have to live up to my full potential every moment of every day!  I can’t keep living like I have a thousand tomorrows to reach that potential, to make my dreams come true!

“I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never my own.  Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real.”  Joan Mills

I have been dreaming of writing a novel since I was a young girl.  I can’t tell you how many I have started but never finished.  I’m not getting any younger now, am I?  Yesterday, I picked up one that I started several months ago, and I read what I had written so far.  I really liked it.  I mean, if I had bought that book for myself, I would want the story to keep going.  So today, in front of you, I am making a commitment to finish that book in 2014.  No excuses, no I’m too busy’s, no letting my other commitments get in the way.  Writing is a big part of what I was put on this earth to do, and it is time to stop procrastinating.  I am going to ask for it and I am going to claim it.  Today.  You are my witness.

Shalom!

February 12: “Once Upon a Time You Trusted Yourself”

YoungGirl“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.”  Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A few days ago, I mentioned how Brené Brown had inspired me when she shared how she worries what people will think when she chooses what to wear.  Oddly enough, just a day later I was chatting with two business women, and one mentioned how she worries about looking “stupid” due to her choice of clothing.  I laughed inside when she said it, because she was very attractive and well put together, and I realized that we are all so much alike.  Why do we worry so much about what people think?

“Try to contact the girl you once were.  She’s your authentic self and she’s waiting to remind you how beautiful, accomplished, and extraordinary you really are.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

I try to reach back to my ten-year-old self as Sarah suggests, and I’m not sure that I was ever the child that she describes.  I have always been such a pleaser, I don’t know if I ever trusted my own instincts.  So how did I learn to trust them in recent years?  Is it the magic of turning 50?  Perhaps being disappointed too many times by trusting and following the wrong people?  Meditation and prayer?  Reading books like Sarah’s that teach me a lot about myself?  I think it is a combination of all of these things, and I am grateful for the wisdom that comes with middle age.  It is a wonderful place to be.

Shalom!

February 11: “Divine Discontent: Learning to Live by Your Own Lights”

Psychic-Energy“Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.”  Shakti Gawain

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were unhappy, and you felt guilty for feeling that way because you knew how blessed you were?  A few years ago, while still working as chief operating officer of a wonderful Lakeland law firm, I felt that way.  I was so full of discontent, and I struggled for a couple of years over what to do about it.  It was a wonderful firm, full of wonderful people, and I was compensated very well.  How could I be unhappy about all of that?  But it wasn’t any of those things that were making me unhappy; it was the fact that I wasn’t where I belonged any more.  There was a time when I did belong there, but I had outgrown it.

“What is going on is part of the process.  I call it Divine Discontent.  It is the grit in the oyster before the pearl.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

I have learned that there is a difference between being grateful and listening to your inner voice when it is telling you that it is time to make a change.  If we were always happy about our current situation, we would never grow.  Without that “divine discontent,” we would not move on to the next chapter that life has planned for us.  Had I not felt that discontent while I was living in Upstate New York, I would not be in beautiful Lakeland, Florida right now.  I shudder to think of it!

“Be very careful to safeguard your newly recovering artist.  Often, creativity is blocked by our falling in with other people’s plans for us.”   Julia Cameron

I am very blessed to have a husband who supports whatever my inner spirit is leading me to do.  That is why I am able to be a realtor today.  What is your inner spirit asking you to do today?  Will you ask for it and claim it as Sarah suggests?  Your fellow readers are here to support you.  Let us know how you make out!

Shalom!

February 10: “Creating an Authentic Lifestyle for Yourself and Those You Love”

peace“Turning away from the world and toward your own happiness is the path of authenticity.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

Oh, how I wish someone had made this book a requirement for ninth grade English.  Can you imagine learning these lessons about being your authentic self when you were a young teen?

“When you learn what you can live without, you are able to ask life for the very best because you possess the gift of discernment.”  SBB

I agree with Sarah’s quote.  Like many people in the last few years, my financial situation has been less lucrative than it once was.  I have learned so much through the experience.  I am so much less wasteful today than I was previously.  I am almost embarrassed to admit some things, like how I would replace a pair of mildly worn shoes without even trying to scrub them clean first.  Eating out more times than not with no thought to what we were spending.  We were frivolous in so many ways.  Having to pay attention to our spending has taught me so many lessons.  I like myself better now.  I am proud of being more fiscally responsible.

It may seem like a simple thing, but I think we live in such a wasteful society, and I am ashamed to say I was very guilty of being an active participant in that improvident culture.  Living with less has definitely given me the gift of discernment.  Today would be a perfect example.  I needed a new camera for my business.  In the past, I would have gone to one store, bought the best one they had without a blink, and left the store without any comparison shopping.  Today, I researched the cameras available and decided on the one that would provide what I needed within a certain price range.  I then left the store, researched reviews online to ensure its quality, and checked pricing for that camera at multiple locations.  It was $30 cheaper if I drove a few miles north to Best Buy.  I humbly admit that in the past I would have convinced myself that my time was worth more than the $30.  Today, I drove to Best Buy.

“It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”  Somerset Maugham

Developing patience also allows you to truly enjoy the rewards when they come in a way that you can’t appreciate when you live a life of instant gratification.  Last week I went shoe shopping for the first time in three years, and I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed it.  I made a day of it, taking my parents with me on a road trip to DSW in Tampa, followed by lunch at International Mall.  I have wanted to take them there for years, but I never made it happen.  Suddenly, through the beauty of this transformative experience, life is becoming more meaningful.  I hope it is doing the same for you.

Shalom!