Author: Suzette

February 22: “Excavating the Real You, Part II”

SuzettePersonal Growth

EXCAVATION“The excavation process expands your sense of the possible because it provides you with inner knowledge.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

How are you doing so far on your transformation?  Are you finding that Sarah’s book is helping you to discover and appreciate the real you?  I have found that the inner knowledge I have gained through this soul work has helped me to identify where some of my improper thinking has come from.  To gain this knowledge, to identify the errors in our thinking, is the first step in making real, authentic change.

“Would you really dig into yesterday’s garbage to make tonight’s meal?  Do you dig into old mental garbage to create tomorrow’s experiences?  The past cannot be changed.  The future is shaped by our current thinking.”  Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

By identifying the errors in our thinking about ourselves, we can change our thought patterns, and hence our future.  Do you think you are not good enough?  Not talented enough?  Not smart enough?  Not _______ enough?  Fill in the blank.  Whatever it is, you are wrong.  For each and every one of us was created exactly as we are meant to be, perfectly designed to fulfill our individual purpose.

“Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.”  Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

Whatever your erroneous thoughts about yourself are, and wherever they came from, it is time to change them and recognize the perfection that is you.  Not in an arrogant way, but in a way that you have the knowledge that “God don’t make no junk,” and He created you the way you are for a reason.  If you start each day affirming this to yourself, I guarantee you’ll have a better day, and you will see your future begin to change.

Shalom!

February 21: “Excavating the Real You, Part I”

SuzettePersonal Growth

IMGP2707“We must dig patiently with our pens to excavate our real selves.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

It does take time to discover who we really are, doesn’t it?  Or maybe we know all along, but we deny it or ignore it out of fear.

“Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.”  Patricia Hampl

I never liked myself growing up.  I always wished I was more like someone else.  I wanted someone else’s hair, someone else’s body, someone else’s athletic talents, someone else’s “coolness.”  I always felt awkward, like I didn’t fit in.  As an older adult, I learned that my shyness was sometimes taken as an aloofness by others.  Boys I had crushes on were actually afraid to approach me.  I guess the joke was on me.  I wish I could go back to that young girl and tell her that she was just fine, just the way she was.  Teach her that by being so shy, she was robbing herself of so much.

“Faith Baldwin tells us: ‘Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.’  The delay of our dreams does not mean that they have been denied.”  SBB

So the teenage me missed out on some things due to her lack of confidence.  But the beauty of life is, I am still ending up where God had planned for me to be all along.  It may have taken me longer to get here, and there may have been some painful detours along the way, but the final destination is the same.  Here I am in 2014, transforming my life with Simple Abundance and becoming the woman that I was always intended to be.  Doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

Shalom!

P.S.  If you are new to these posts, Transforming 2014 is an online book club of sorts.  We are reading Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book, Simple Abundance:  A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, together so that 2014 can be a transformative year for all of us.  Use the comment section to inspire fellow readers or share your difficulties so that we can support you.  You can find Sarah’s book on Amazon, and it is available in the Kindle version as well!

February 20: “The Authentic Dig”

SuzetteCreativity / Art / Design

photo (18)“Sometimes a person has to go back, really back – to have a sense, an understanding of all that’s gone to make them – before they can go forward.”  Paule Marshall

If I think back to when I was young, to when I was a teenager who allowed herself time to just be, it is easy to see the common threads between the girl I was then and the woman I am now.

“The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order.”  Eudora Welty

Though I have 52 years’ worth of memories, the ones that come to the forefront if I stop to think back are the passions that I had as a teen and still have today.  I can still see and feel the thick, light green, spiral bound notebook that I used to do my writing, the poetry and short stories coming to life on those lined pages.  I can see its tattered cover and smell the pages of that book that I held so close to my heart, carrying it with me so that it was always available when I was inspired and had the opportunity to write.  I regret to say that I no longer have it and have no idea what became of it.  But what I do have is its memory, still dear to my heart, a reminder that writing is indeed an integral part of who I am and what I was put on this earth to do.

“What you are searching for is a pattern of personal, authentic pleasures and preferences.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

Close behind the memory of that notebook is a memory of the hours I spent at the piano, so many hours in fact that my poor family would ask me to please stop practicing, as the piano shared the living room with our television.  I practiced with joy, never growing weary of it as I worked to perfect the song I was learning.  My passion for it has waned somewhat in adulthood though, with the life and responsibilities of a wife and mother getting in the way.  After having lost so many years of playing, it is difficult to get the skill level back that once was there.  I still enjoy it though, especially since Danny bought me a beautiful baby grand a few years ago.

It’s funny how things start flooding back as you go through this process, memories that you had entirely forgotten.  I used to buy graph paper and draw layouts for houses, my passion for architecture starting at a young age as well.  I had forgotten about those drawings until just now, and it makes me smile to know that I have come full circle to those things that came naturally to me when I was young.  Here I am at 52, working in the real estate business to work with architecture that I have a passion for, and writing more than I have since I was a very young woman.

The transformation has truly begun my friends, and it feels good.  I hope that yours has begun as well.  I would love to hear about it!

Shalom!

February 19: Rendezvous with the Authentic Archaeologist

SuzettePersonal Growth

mary_leakey3“The reason we want to awaken the authentic archaeologist is to excavate the real you.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

Memories.  There are so many piled on top of one another in a lifetime.  How is it possible to remember it all?  I have never had a good memory, and as I do this work on the path of Simple Abundance, I wonder if part of the reason is because there are so many memories that I am trying hard to forget.  Being teased in school.  Inappropriate behavior by an uncle and the husband of a babysitter.  The loss of a child.  Divorce.  The painful aftermath of divorce with my children.  So much pain.

“Prepare yourself for a gentle but authentic dig that will help you discover the Mystery in which your soul abides.”  SBB

I am beginning to recognize the importance of allowing all memories to coexist, because if you block out some, you block out all.  No wonder I have lived much of my adult life on autopilot, failing to live in the present.  If you are working so hard to forget, you can’t really enjoy and cherish the good times either.  Walls are erected to block it all out, growing stronger over time as the sediment thickens and passage becomes more difficult.  But outside those walls there is so much joy just waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.

To live a life full of abundance and authenticity, the walls must be destructed.  One by one, the bricks must be dismantled so that the light can shine in on your soul once again.  The bricks didn’t harden and thicken overnight, and the walls won’t disappear overnight either, but with time and patience, it can be done.  The painful past can be revisited as the distant memory that it is.  Wrongdoers can be forgiven.  Joy can replace sorrow, and you can live the life that you were created to live, learning to be the very best version of yourself possible.  What better way to make a truly amazing transformation in 2014, don’t you think?

Shalom!

February 17: A Safari of Self and Spirit

SuzettePersonal Growth

ResortpicsOct12th009“Uncovering the source of the Nile or charting the course of the Amazon are outward parallels to the inner journey you are on today – a safari of the self and the spirit.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

This sounds so serious, doesn’t it?  I think that Sarah is right though, and it makes me want to take this journey of self-discovery to yet another level.  I feel as though I haven’t worked quite hard enough, or given myself enough time each day to go deeper.  I realize that I have only scratched the surface.

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover will be yourself.”  Alan Alda

I have accomplished so much already on this spiritual journey, but like a healthy diet that leaves you wanting to be even healthier, I am ready for more.  I am ready to take this thing to the next level.  I am ready to head to the wilderness and slay any dragons that may still be lurking in the dark.

Are you with me?

Shalom!

February 16: At the End of Our Exploring

SuzettePersonal Growth

animals_DragonTamer“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”  J.R.R. Tolkien

Tolkien is telling us that as we take this journey of self-discovery, we cannot ignore our fears.  If you don’t know what you are afraid of, how do you have any chance of conquering it?

I think that, in addition to acknowledging and addressing our fears, we also must look at our belief system.  Specifically, our beliefs about ourselves.  For example, poor self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness are major contributing factors to many of our fears.  If you overcome an improper belief system, you will conquer your fears.

Sarah talks about T.S. Eliot’s belief that there is really nothing to fear from self-awareness because at the end of all our personal exploration, we will arrive back where we started and know in our hearts that we finally belong there.  I personally know this to be true.  Having taken the journey of self-exploration and facing my dragons head-on with the help of prayer and meditation, I am back where I started – finally writing, creating, and developing meaningful relationships through my real estate career – and knowing unequivocally that I am doing what God intended for me to do.

“As in the best old tales, at the end of your exploring, you will live happily ever after.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

How wonderful is that??

Shalom!

February 15: Meeting the Inner Explorer

SuzetteSpirituality

meditation“There is only one journey.  Going inside yourself.”  Rainer Maria Rilke

I am having trouble reconciling Sarah’s advice to fantasize about creating a travel excursion, complete with picking up travel brochures, with going inside yourself.  I see nothing wrong with fantasizing about your dream destination, I just don’t see how that helps me to find my authentic self.

Since today’s passage doesn’t really resonate with me personally, I will share a quote that does:

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful.  It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”  Jill Bolte Taylor

Being able to remain calm and blissful in spite of everything happening around us is really the key to living a happy life, isn’t it?  I think I do a fairly good job of this, although like everyone, I do have times when I let external circumstances get me down.  I don’t stay in that space for long though.  I am by nature a happy and optimistic person, so for me, living authentically means maintaining a positive attitude even when the car breaks down or something doesn’t go as planned.  Life happens, to every one of us, and if we can learn to maintain our peaceful center in spite of it, what a difference it can make!

“Many marvels await discovery as we continue on the path to authenticity.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

What have you learned about yourself so far?

Shalom!

February 14: “Buried Dreams”

SuzetteTransforming 2014 and Beyond

IMG_3049“Where there is great love there are always miracles.”  Willa Cather

I love this quote on this day of love.  It led me to do a little research on Willa Cather.  Willa is a winner of the Pulitzer Prize for a novel that she wrote entitled One of Ours, although it doesn’t appear that she became a published writer until after she was 40 years old.  Born in 1873, I wonder how Willa would feel knowing that she is an inspiration for over-40 women in the year 2014?

“Over the years we’ve buried many a precious dream under layers of soot and rubble.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

I don’t know about you, but my buried dreams are many.  I am grateful that, at 52, I still have the opportunity to make those dreams come true.  One dream that I had for over two decades was becoming a realtor.  That dream came to pass last November, and I can see now that there wouldn’t have been another time in my life that would have been the right time.  It is a tremendous amount of work, starting a real estate career.  I don’t know how I would have done it while raising my children – having evenings and weekends to devote to them was too important to me.  I also needed the firm that I am part of to be created.  Olive Branch Realty stands for everything that I stand for – due to the nature of the real estate business, I think I would have found it very difficult to be part of a firm that is not based on the Christian principles that we are based on.

“…while I have learned that dreams need doing as much as they need being, I have learned that the being always comes first.”  SBB

God’s timing is perfect.  I held onto that dream of being a realtor for a very long time, and when I paid close attention to the message that I was getting from Him that the time was right, and I moved forward on that message, everything fell into place.  I am getting another message now, one that is telling me to write, write, write.  I am listening.  What about you?  What message do you get if you take the time to listen?

“The dream was always running ahead of one.  To catch up, to live for a moment in union with it, that was the miracle.”  AnaÏs Nin

Shalom!

February 13: “You Have a Unique Point of View: Loving Your Authenticity”

SuzetteTransforming 2014 and Beyond

Novel“A sobering thought:  what if, right at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?”  Jane Wagner

Yikes.  I don’t like the sound of that!  It is a sobering thought, and one to really put some thought into.  We are still early in the year.  We have a lot of time to make a big difference for our 2014 transformation, yet there is no time to waste.  When I read that quote, a light bulb went off in my head.  An aha moment:  if I am going to live up to my full potential in life, then I have to live up to my full potential every moment of every day!  I can’t keep living like I have a thousand tomorrows to reach that potential, to make my dreams come true!

“I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never my own.  Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real.”  Joan Mills

I have been dreaming of writing a novel since I was a young girl.  I can’t tell you how many I have started but never finished.  I’m not getting any younger now, am I?  Yesterday, I picked up one that I started several months ago, and I read what I had written so far.  I really liked it.  I mean, if I had bought that book for myself, I would want the story to keep going.  So today, in front of you, I am making a commitment to finish that book in 2014.  No excuses, no I’m too busy’s, no letting my other commitments get in the way.  Writing is a big part of what I was put on this earth to do, and it is time to stop procrastinating.  I am going to ask for it and I am going to claim it.  Today.  You are my witness.

Shalom!

February 12: “Once Upon a Time You Trusted Yourself”

SuzetteTransforming 2014 and Beyond

YoungGirl“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.”  Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A few days ago, I mentioned how Brené Brown had inspired me when she shared how she worries what people will think when she chooses what to wear.  Oddly enough, just a day later I was chatting with two business women, and one mentioned how she worries about looking “stupid” due to her choice of clothing.  I laughed inside when she said it, because she was very attractive and well put together, and I realized that we are all so much alike.  Why do we worry so much about what people think?

“Try to contact the girl you once were.  She’s your authentic self and she’s waiting to remind you how beautiful, accomplished, and extraordinary you really are.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach

I try to reach back to my ten-year-old self as Sarah suggests, and I’m not sure that I was ever the child that she describes.  I have always been such a pleaser, I don’t know if I ever trusted my own instincts.  So how did I learn to trust them in recent years?  Is it the magic of turning 50?  Perhaps being disappointed too many times by trusting and following the wrong people?  Meditation and prayer?  Reading books like Sarah’s that teach me a lot about myself?  I think it is a combination of all of these things, and I am grateful for the wisdom that comes with middle age.  It is a wonderful place to be.

Shalom!